the hat
A French fashion designer once said that a hat is to a man what a woman is to love. Everyone knows that hats are cool and my situation is no different.
As you can see in the picture at left, the man without a hat is sad, lonely, and has no friends. His health is poor and his skin is bad. He is not very smart and has no good luck. He doesn’t even have a car! It is obvious that he will never have lots of money and so he will never have a good wife.
Now look at the man with the hat. He is happy, sexy, and has lots of friends. His health is really good and his skin is much better than yours. It is clear that this man is very smart and has great luck with the ladies. Obviously he will be very successful and have an excellent wife.
And see how this bright, successful young man’s hat covers his ears in cold north China weather. Who does not want this man’s children?!
I’ve been told this hat makes me look like a “Russian thug,” which improves its appeal to me. You can get this hat and its lifestyle for yourself if you go to the Muslim quarter of the world’s most inland city: Urumqi. There’s a small shop in the basement of a mosque where you can buy one for the asking price of 80 RMB. Your credit card’s not accepted but Mandarin and the Uyghur language are.
the shoes
A famous Italian fashion designer once said that the shoes make the man.
I’m made of a rubber coated, dead cow skin that was originally designed for hunting.
Here’s the shoe that’s gotten me lots of stares in the Beijing subway. These duck shoes are an LLBean original. If you purchase cheaper copies then you are not cool and I will laugh at you when I see you in them. That’s what rubber coated dead cow skins do best.
If you want to purchase these shoes and wear them during ugly wet weather, then go to the Beijing Bean store at Solana Mall in Chaoyangmen and pay import prices, or go to Bean online and ship them over for about the same price. Remember to order a half size larger. For those of us who are unaccustomed to the general public sharing body fluids with the general public, these shoes will keep your feet dry and free of anything you may step in on Beijing streets.
trivia tuesday night
I gotta new thing on Tuesday nights. After my time spent on the 12th floor of the BC at LiangMaDaSha, I head down the street to Schindlers Anlegestelle at Sanlitun for trivia night. That’s not the Schindlers-Tankstelle of Ritan Park, but I guess the same delicious sausage, kraut & spuds thing is still as good. (I don’t know, I’ve only tried the french fries so far.)
I’m terrible at trivia. The fact that I hold my own in my team means that my team sucks. We play on the second floor, if you’re interested. No invitation necessary and if you can’t find a team, the team I jump into will probably welcome you. Some of the teams are fierce competitors and there’s a lot of IELTS folks there that do the same as me and pop over after work at BC. That’s 8-10 pm every Tuesday. Anlegestelle, not Tankstelle.
Funny thing. I was looking around at the mix of 20 somethings to 50 somethings in the pub and it confirmed my suspicion that I’m in pretty damn good shape. I used to be shy about my age (42 this year) but whenever I look at those of my age group, I typically see that Chinese guys are disgusting and foreigners are fat and/or out of shape. My foreign friends in their 20s and 30s have lifestyles that will cause them to hit their middle ages hard. I’ve been exercising for most of my life now, > 20 years. When I started I wanted to see myself exactly where I am now.
call me rick o’shay
OK so the love of my life and best friend told me that my blog is political and scary. This blunt and brutal honesty is accepted only because of mutual romantic interests. Otherwise, like any blogger I consider my writing to be the essential gift of a genius delivered to a grateful world.
So OK I’ll go back to October and November and build-in some more family-friendly entries of dinners, travels, etc. I’ll also try more of the happy, generic level stuff from now on, lasting at least until the next true love of my life.
I’ve got a bet I won’t get more online responses; help me win and don’t write comments.
divinity by the slice
Sounds crazy to those who haven’t traveled internationally but a meal of authentic home style cooking can be a godsend. Kro’s Nest pizza is a good example. The cheese, sauce, dough and toppings are all accurately US flavored and sinfully delicious. This pizza is the Sodom to my taste buds’ Gomorrah. Wicked good stuff, and it’s not just in Haidian anymore. The nearest restaurant to my flat in SiHui is a quick 20 RMB taxi to the Workers’ Stadium. (That Nest is next to meat markets Vick’s and Mix.) When I go to Kro’s Nest I usually order enough to gorge myself at the restaurant and still have lots to take home with me. I then happily gorge myself on the leftovers for the following day’s breakfast, lunch and/or dinner. It is gluttonous to none but those who do not understand and follow this one, true, extra-cheese religion.
I usually drink diet Coke with the pizza. That way I feel less full and I can eat more pizza. I get the large. The x-large looks fun but does not cook as well or evenly. The smaller size is a waste of time for devout pizza lovers.
Oh sacred God of Pizza, I worship thee. Blessed is your fragrant aroma and stringy melted cheeses. Your zesty sauce is most Holy. You command me to enjoy your precious seasonings and perfect crust. God’s will be done!
Here’s the shroom & spinach delicacy I bless myself with most often. All praise to the most high of Italian foods. I submit my appetite to thee!
you evil, evil axis!
Travelling to another city in China this weekend and I’m on a bus that is taking me from the airport terminal to the plane when I see an airline I’ll never see in the USA. Not in my lifetime at least.
my favorite flavor: government of the people
www.change.gov is Obama’s transitional government website. Goto www.change.gov and click on “tell us your story” and there you can leave your ideas and suggestions about what needs to be done in the United States. Think taxes are too high? Want to improve social spending for the elderly? Against a war in Iran? Do your mama proud and go to www.change.gov and speak your American mind.
Obama got where he is because of the little people behind him. O’s campaign raised more than both of the 2004 Presidential candidates’ campaigns combined, and that wasn’t because of the big oil supporters. That was a whole lotta little guys giving 5 bucks. Common people. Grass roots stuff. People found their voice once again.
And in that voice is power. Great big power, because this time there’s so goddamn many of us speaking.
Get to www.change.gov and speak your own, individual mind. Speak your agreement and speak your disagreement. Tell Obama and his pals your ideas on how to improve this country. Remember, we are the government. You, me, and all the people. This election was a success if only because it allowed Americans to remind themselves that in the U.S. we have a government of the people, by the people, and for the people. Don’t let this kind of government perish from the face of the earth. Do your part. Speak. Act. Stand. Now.
www.change.gov “Tell us your story.”
yeah i agree with the republican
Recently, former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney wrote an article in the New York Times about the U.S. Auto industry. Although he fails to discuss at length the lobbying the industry did against fuel efficiency, Mitt does mention the private jets the industry guys took to DC to ask for bailout money. I agree with Mitt and here’s the article.
put the dumb animal out of its misery
Detroit automakers are having financial trouble. Again.
Why?
Because they’re Americans and Americans don’t give a damn.
I say let the dead fruit rot and fall to the ground.
If Chrysler, GM, and Ford had started making alternative energy vehicles instead of lobbying for years against raising fuel efficiency, perhaps they wouldn’t be in this mess. It’s not like they didn’t have many warnings from foreign competitors. Sales for Toyota’s Prius have skyrocketed, and last I heard waiting lists in U.S. are more than 6 months for that ugly little vehicle.
This is not the first time Detroit failed to listen to Japan’s successful trend setting. Japan entered the car market with their fuel-efficient cars, during the gas crunch of the 70’s. In the 80’s, Japanese cars got quality-conscious and started to woo the maturing hippies who’d sold out and started having families. In the 90’s came the family and luxury vehicles for that aging population. Recently we’ve seen the new divisions of the now popular Japanese car brands aimed at the children of the aging hippies that Japan coddled for a lifetime. Now the Prius and its back-ordered hybrid technology.
Is Japan on her third or fourth generation of alternative fuel vehicles? And the U.S.?! Well, the U.S. car companies are crying to the guhment to help bail them out. But who can blame them? They’re Americans and Americans do what they want, when they want. They make cars they want, regardless of logic or reason. Besides, in America this is the age of private profit and public debt. Just shift the burden to taxpayers.
Detroit has sat on its hands and played dumb so long and so well that I’m not sure it’s an act. Maybe those guys in management are just that stupid. I say it’s time to put the dumb animal out of its misery. If these 3 huge auto-making brands cannot keep themselves in business after many repeated opportunities, let them die. The Regan/Bush voters would surely not mind if market forces take their natural course.
Speaking of which, we have another example of Wall Street giving financial innovation a bad name. The troubles the U.S. “big 3” are currently facing are not entirely due to stupid American arrogance, it’s also that no one can get a loan to buy a car. The jacked-up Wall Street investments that rested on the housing market are enjoying the fruits of their self-regulated banking environment and plain old greed. Oops.
Let the dead fruit rot and fall to the ground. Put the dumb animal out of its misery. If GM, Chrysler and Ford are finally realizing their inevitable deaths, give me a dollar of the bailout money and I’ll try to care a little.